Twitter Posts

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

DeathStarPR Death Star PR
Jar Jar Binks has been trending for as long as the Gulf oil spill. Guess people still can't decide which disaster was worse. #StarWars

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

FANTASTIC!

ShittingtonUK Sean Tejaratchi
"The bad thing about Anne Frank's diary is that Nazi time travelers are going to know right where to look."

Subject: Re: Twitter Posts Thu Jan 13, 2011 9:59 am

LMAO!! That's awesome.

Posts : 123 Join date : 2011-01-08 Age : 40

I've always said that there are two great evils in this world, Nazis and time travelling Nazis.

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

JohnFugelsang John Fugelsang

It's always worth remembering that if OJ hadn't killed those poor people none of us would know what a 'Kardashian' is.

Posts : 123 Join date : 2011-01-08 Age : 40

I just had to look it up, but yeah. Kim Kardashian's Dad represented OJ Simpson. No wonder I can't stand any of them.

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

Here are some decent ones from today/yesterday:

DeathStarPR Death Star PR
Vader cutting off Luke's hand wasn't a parenting fail, it was his way of giving his son the greatest gift of all: a sweet cyborg hand.

ShittingtonUK Sean Tejaratchi
I want a safe, supportive environment where I can make sex with attractive women, perhaps from behind, in exchange for no money. #healing

SFUCKINGJ Stevie Janowski
I WILL CUT OFF YOUR DICK WHILE YOU DREAM! “@pj_fahey: @sfuckingj I mean, your tweets suck dude, I will write your shit if you need help”

JennyJohnsonHi5 Jenny Johnson
If I was Oprah's half sister, I'd legally change my name to "Oprah 2: Judgment Day"

JimNorton Jim Norton
Jesse Ventura sues TSA over 'humiliating pat-downs'. If someone wants to humiliate Jesse Ventura, they should make him watch his own movies.

lambjustin Justin Lambby westerosorg
Finished A Game of Thrones. Challenges the idea that great fantasy has to be about magic & elves. It can also have incest and beheadings

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

shitmydadsays Justin
"No. Aliens exist, I just don't think they came millions of light years just to see earth. Be like driving 1000 miles to go to an Arby's"

OpieRadio opie radio
Breaking News! Jersey Shore' to shoot Season 4 in ITALY! I really had my fingers crossed for Mogadishu, Somalia.

Posts : 123 Join date : 2011-01-08 Age : 40

Brilliant Twitters as usual.

Subject: Re: Twitter Posts Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:33 am

"Stop saying the truth is stranger than fiction, please. It depends on which truth and/or fiction. Watergate isn't stranger than Dune." ~ Paul Constant via Franklin Veaux

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

Fantastic quote Logan, couldn't agree more. If you really believe that the truth is stranger than fiction you lack any imaginary capacity.

Subject: Re: Twitter Posts Thu Jan 27, 2011 2:58 pm

The Goddamn Batman wrote:: I wish The Situation had been cast as Clayface in Dark Knight Rises. Just so I could kick him in the vagina.

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

One of my favorite GDBMs to date.

God_Damn_Batman The Batman
After you watch a kid in green short-shorts style his hair for FORTY-FIVE GOD DAMN MINUTES... THEN you understand where the rage comes from.

I am in complete agreement with this:

MarylandMudflap Scotty L.
Oh great, out of the 47 countries in Africa the only one I would even consider visiting is currently on fire. Thanks, Egypt.

Subject: Re: Twitter Posts Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:26 pm

... is on fire...

LMAO! Yeah, poor Egypt. Let's hope their internet gets turned back on soon.

Posts : 123 Join date : 2011-01-08 Age : 40

huh, so it is.

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

Ha and HA

MarylandMudflap Scotty L.
"I hope the domestic abuse line in Pittsburgh has extra staff working the phone lines tonight."

Subject: Re: Twitter Posts Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:08 pm

The Goddamn Batman:

"Superman and the Super Bowl are actually a lot alike: Big. Colorful. Dumb. Difference is, the Superbowl isn't a giant douche."

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

JennyJohnsonHi5 Jenny Johnson
I grounded my stepdaughter for sending a text to another girl that read "Your a slut." It should've read "YOU'RE a slut." What a dumbshit...

MarylandMudflap Scotty L.
A great Black History Month would be not hearing white guys describe a white woman, who once had sex with 1 black man, as "into black guys."

JennyJohnsonHi5 Jenny Johnson
If you're embarrassed about getting breast implants, just tell people you had a "deviated septum" in your tits. It works for nose jobs.

Posts : 123 Join date : 2011-01-08 Age : 40

Fantastic.

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

MelissaStetten Melissa Stetten
The egyptians are partying like it's Bird- Foot- Squiggly Lines- Snake Charmer. That's hieroglyphics for 1999 right?

This chic is oddly/sadly/awesomely a hot model who has a brain and sense of humor.

Posts : 123 Join date : 2011-01-08 Age : 40

A brain is a wonderful thing, but she's definitely too flat chested.

Hehe, I can say that now and not have to worry about sounding like a pig because I'm single again. lol.

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

Not sure why, but this made me laugh a lot.

MarylandMudflap Scotty L.
If going to a women's shoe store, putting Uggs on your hands and feet, and galloping around the store like a pony is wrong, than I am wrong.

DeathStarPR Death Star PR
Cool lightsabers are red / Lame ones are green / I gave you my heart for #VDay / Kidding! It's Qui-Gon's spleen. #StarWars

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

robdelaney rob delaney
If your favorite dance song isn't Rock Lobster, I will fight you in the street right now.

Posts : 96 Join date : 2011-01-08

DeathStarPR Death Star PR
Funny, they called Leia "Princess" but it was Han who wore the fuck-me boots. #StarWars

Posts : 123 Join date : 2011-01-08 Age : 40

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